The issue of fooling around is a difficult one to
address, especially as there are many definitions of fooling
around. A related question is where a person should
draw the line before going too far.
The Bible does not address the issue of fooling around in
any discussion of sex. The only line that it draws is
that sex should be reserved for marriage. This is
discussed in the article "Why
should I wait until marriage for sex?"
There are still biblical principles that can be applied
to fooling around however. The greatest one is
treating each other with love. This does not mean
romantic love but instead respect and acknowledgment that
every person is created in the image of God. We are
sexual creatures in that God placed that desire inside of
all of us. However we should not look upon others as
sex objects who are there to fulfill our sexual desires.
To do so would be to corrupt the nature of a person made in
the image of God.
Another thing that we must consider is where our actions
may lead us. If the line is only drawn at not having
sex, we may believe that we are strong enough not to cross
that line. But that is thinking logically about what
we believe is right and wrong. To be blunt, we don't
think logically in the heat of the moment. Our
emotions and hormones are likely to get the best of us and
carry us across the line.
There are different levels of intimacy. Handholding
and kissing are on a different level from groping, which is
not the same as more sexual touching. Returning to the
definition of fooling around, most would consider it to
involve touching in some way that causes sexual excitement
in the other person.
Anytime that two people become sexually aroused, it can
lead to sex. There is no way of knowing how strong a
person's willpower is until after they have crossed over the
line. By then it is too late. A very, very small
number of people may be able to engage in fooling around and
not have it eventually lead to sex before marriage.
The odds are simply stacked against people with even the
strongest willpower.
Even though sex is the limit that is outlined in the
Bible, we must look at the intention of fooling around.
The purpose is to create sexual pleasure without engaging in
sex. The pleasure created is not the same as sex but
it is moving into an area that God intended for marriage and
taking a shortcut to the pleasures of marriage. God
wants us to enjoy sex and all of the other pleasures that
surrounds it. But God also wants us to enjoy all of
those pleasures within marriage.
