The answer to the question "Should I get remarried?" is
even more complicated than the issue to divorce. A lot
of it comes down to how a person ended up single again.
Even then however there are a lot of gaps in what is spelled
out in the Bible.
Paul simplified the issue with advice that is not to be
taken as a command in 1 Corinthians 7:8-9.
"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good
for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot
control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to
marry than to burn with passion."
Simply put, life is easier as a single person.
However there are more temptations as a single person and if
a person cannot control themselves, they should get married.
Of course the implication is that they must control
themselves once they are married then.
Widows are free to remarry when their spouse passes away.
Paul makes this clear in 1 Corinthians 7:39. "A
woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if
her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes,
but he must belong to the Lord."
The issue of remarriage gets complicated once divorce is
involved. There are a few things that are clear from
scripture. A person who initiated a divorce should not
get remarried with the exception of marital unfaithfulness.
See "Is Infidelity Grounds for
Divorce?" for more information about marital
unfaithfulness.
In 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 Paul writes, "To the
married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife
must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she
must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband.
And a husband must not divorce his wife." Paul does
not give the reason a person should not get remarried after
initiating the divorce but Jesus does. In Matthew
19:9 Jesus says, "I tell you that anyone who divorces
his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries
another woman commits adultery." If a person doesn't
like the words of Paul, the words of Jesus are even more
hard hitting and difficult to ignore.
But what about when a spouse leaves? Is a divorcee
an adulterer if they get remarried? The issue becomes
even more difficult with fewer specifics spelled out.
Jesus addresses this issue in Matthew 5:32.
"But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except
for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an
adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman
commits adultery."
A Christian should not married a person who has been
divorced. Many would argue that there are exceptions
to Jesus' statement but He offers none here or anywhere
else. Because Jesus uses the words wife and divorced
woman, it is clear that he is speaking of marrying someone
who did not initiate the divorce and is instead a victim of
it.
A victim of divorce is perhaps the best way to depict a
person whose spouse has left them. Jesus says that a
person who divorces causes their spouse to become an
adulterer. A person is not an adulterer by virtue of
becoming divorced. It would appear that Jesus is
making the assumption that most divorced people will get
remarried. To get remarried would cause the divorcee
to become an adulterer. However, from Jesus' statement
it appears as if the guilt of adultery rests upon the one
who initiated the divorce because he or she has caused their
spouse to become this. That being said, a divorced
person is responsible for their own actions and even though
they are a victim of divorce, they are not forced to get
remarried.
There is an exception offered as a legitimate reason for
divorce. If a spouse is unfaithful a divorce is
allowed. From the wording of Jesus' statement it would
appear that getting divorced and remarried as a result of
marital unfaithfulness is allowed. The guilt of
adultery rests with the spouse who broke the marriage vows.
There is another category of divorcee that is discussed
in "What Should I Do About an
Unbelieving Spouse?" In 1 Corinthians 7:15
Paul writes, "But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A
believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances;
God has called us to live in peace." A believer is not
bound to remain married to an unbeliever, if the
unbeliever initiates the divorce.
What we have left is an argument from silence. The
divorce is allowed and the guilt rests on the unbeliever who
initiated the divorce. However there is nothing
definitively said when a Christian can remarry after an
unbelieving spouse divorces them.
The argument against remarrying is that Jesus only gave
one exception to divorce and remarriage, marital
unfaithfulness. Because no other exceptions were made
we can't assume that this divorce means that a person can
remarry.
The argument for remarriage is that the divorce was
allowed. Likewise, when Jesus spoke, He addressed a
Jewish audience who would not have had marriages where one
person was a believer and the spouse was not. By
Paul's day there were many converts to Christianity and it
was likely that many marriages had one spouse that had
become a Christian and the other had not. Jesus had no
reason to include this exception but Paul did 25-30 years
later as he addressed Christians in an entirely different
situation than Jesus addressed Jews in.
This still leaves a lot that is open for interpretation.
About the only things that we can definitively say from
scripture is that a widow or widower is free to get
remarried. On the flipside, a person who initiated a
divorce should not get remarried or else they are guilty of
adultery.
As for other situations, the advice of Paul rings
loudest. If a person can remain single and not be
tempted, they are better off to do so. If a person
feels the need to become remarried they should let their
conscience be their guide. If they believe it is wrong
to do so, they should refrain. Only after much prayer
and consultation should a victim of divorce consider
remarrying.
