God wants all people to live in peace and harmony with
one another. Unfortunately when marital problems begin
this peace and harmony is broken.
Christians should strive for peace in all of their
relationships, not just in marriage. This means that
everything that can be done, should be done to save a
marriage.
Even when a partner has hurt their spouse greatly and
there appear to be grounds for a divorce such as adultery
(see "Is infidelity grounds for a divorce?" for more
information) reconciliation should still be the goal.
No matter what harm has been caused by a spouse, a person
can repent and seek forgiveness. God can save any
marriage that both parties are interested in saving.
God can also work to turn the heart of a spouse who has lost
interest in their marriage and work to bring the couple back
to a renewed love.
The Bible gives us one instance where a marriage should
be ended for the sake of peace and harmony. 1
Corinthians 7:12-16 lays out an instance where a spouse
should be allowed to leave.
12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any
brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing
to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman
has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to
live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the
unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife,
and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her
believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean,
but as it is, they are holy.
15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing
man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has
called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife,
whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know,
husband, whether you will save your wife?
In short, if one person is a Christian and the other is
not, the Christian should not seek a divorce because they
have some influence for good on their spouse and may yet
lead them to the Lord. But if that spouse desires to
leave the marriage, they should not feel obligated to remain
in the marriage because they are a witness to their spouse.
While this gives permission for a divorce to take place, it
does not give permission to remarry. It is simply in
the interest of peace that a divorce is allowed.
Unfortunately there are many instances of Christian
couples who are not living in harmony. True Christians
should do everything they can to save the marriage but often
one person does not want to work things out. If a
person is acting like an unbeliever, treat them like an
unbeliever. If they refuse to seek the peace that God
wants for the marriage, they are no better than an
unbeliever.
Obviously this does not mean that the first time a spouse
does not want to talk about marriage problems that they are
acting as an unbeliever and should be allowed to walk away.
Only in cases where a person obviously is not walking with
the Lord despite claiming to be a Christian should this be
considered and even then they should be the one to initiate
a divorce.
