The short answer is that counseling can't hurt even if a
spouse will not go along. Ideally both people will be
willing to sit down and to discuss the problems of marriage.
There is a stigma about counseling to some people as it
implies a weakness that a person cannot solve their own
problems. However, it is like a Christian who must
acknowledge they can't make it on their own and trust God to
help them. It takes more strength to admit that a
marriage needs help than it does to ignore the problems and
continue on in frustration.
Communication is a key to any good relationship and
having an objective third party listen to each side's
frustrations can help a couple work through their problems.
Counseling can be avoided if a couple is open and honest
about their feelings and if they discuss them regularly.
Many times however one person is more willing to talk than
the other and that is when a third party is needed to draw
out the feelings of both sides.
Many pastors have have some but limited training in
counseling. It is good to sit down with a pastor to
discuss problems that are occurring. These
conversations should be kept completely confidential by the
pastor.
Because pastor's have limited time and limited training
it is not uncommon to be referred to a professional marriage
counselor. This doesn't mean that a couple's problems
are so great that they can only be handled by a
professional. It simply means that the pastor takes
the marriage seriously and wants all of the needs addressed
even if they are outside of his realm of expertise.
While marriage counselors abound, Christians should seek
a Christian counselor. There is often a lot of
psychological advice given by other counselors that is not
backed up by the Bible. A good Christian counselor
should stick to the Bible first a foremost and should strive
for peace and harmony within a marriage.
