In 1997 Joshua Harris released a book titled "I Kissed Dating
Goodbye." The premise was not that dating was bad but that
there were better options than the frustrations of dating.
Dating as we know it doesn't appear in the Bible.
But neither do cars, computers, or televisions. So to
simply say that people didn't date in the Bible doesn't make
the idea of dating unbiblical.
Dating is a very recent idea compared to the history of
man. It wasn't until the automobile in the early
1900's that dating became popular or even really possible.
This allowed people to get away from their parents and get
to know a person on a different level than before.
So the question of whether dating was in the Bible
doesn't answer the question of whether dating is in line
with biblical principles. For that we have to ask the
question, "Why is a person dating?" The motives behind
dating tell us whether or not dating is biblical. In
the end, dating can be both biblical and unbiblical.
In "What is the purpose of
dating?" we will discuss the biblical reason a person
should date. Here we will discuss some unbiblical
reasons for dating.
For many people, dating has become equated with sex.
People hang out at bars looking for one night stands and
ultimately someone to hook up with for a while. There
is no sense of commitment and a person won't enter that
phase until later when they are ready to "settle down."
Sex outside of marriage is outside of God's plan and should
be avoided. If this is the reason for dating, it
shouldn't be considered biblical.
Another reason people date is for a sense of conquest.
For many this is a sexual thing as mentioned above.
However for others it is a sense of pride. A person
derives self worth by their ability to find someone to date.
And the more attractive a date they can find, the better
they feel about themselves. We aren't to derive our
self worth from who we date but from God. We are
created in the image of God and therefore it doesn't matter
if others find us attractive or not.
These reasons aside, there is a good reason for dating
that can be backed up with biblical principles. This
is discussed in "What is the
purpose of dating?"